Last week, Ivanka Trump attended the G20 Summit in Osaka with her father’s delegation and gave a speech on women’s empowerment as part of this administration’s on-going commitment to words that mean nothing to them. From the looks of the photos that have emerged from the meeting of world leaders (and, apparently, also their preferred daughters???) Ivanka had the time of her life, which is odd because she is definitely not a world leader and also G20 doesn’t exactly sound like a blast. Nonetheless, there are dozens of photos of the First Daughter straight up cackling in dignitaries’ faces like she’s a high school junior visiting her older sibling at college and trying to make friends at a frat party no one invited her to.
This photo is giving me huge Janice from Friends vibes. Somehow I… suddenly hate laughter now? This photo is what I want people to think is happening when I respond to a text with “Hahahaha.” Just a complete breakdown over humor. When I text you four ha’s, best believe that I have collapsed on the floor, convulsing and screaming, barely able to control my muscles, such is the extent of this mirth. When I text “lol I’m dying!” it’s because it’s true. Stop texting jokes and call 911, please.
Woman laughing alone at summit.
Every photo of Ivanka at G20 looks like one of the video games at a bar where you have to find all the things wrong a picture in 60 seconds. I look at them and my brain goes, “Got it!” I’m not saying that the president’s daughter who has no diplomacy experience shouldn’t be front and center at a meeting of world leaders like it’s Bring Your Child to Work Day. Heaven forfend! I’m just saying it has completely broken me.
You know that thing where you go to a bar with friends and some random stranger keeps hanging out at the periphery of your group, laughing a little too loudly at your jokes, and then the next morning, you scroll through your photos and realize they’ve inserted themselves into every shot? That’s what I’m getting from these G20 photos.
Ivanka Trump at G20 is like Rachel in the John Early and Kate Berlant short film, Rachel, about a woman who crashes a house party and then refuses to leave.
My utterly brain refuses to process this. I keep looking at images and going, “Wait! That’s Apprentice star Ivanka Trump inserting herself into a conversation with the actual Queen of the Netherlands. Is this a game show or something?”
The awkwardness of these trios has reached Michael Scott levels. And it doesn’t help that every photo also has huge The Shining energy, also.
You, in all honesty, hate to see it. Beyond the idea of the president’s offspring doing a “Here’s Johnny” in the middle of a chat between the Prime Minister of Japan and the President of the United States, there’s the basic physical logistics of the whole thing. This image hurts my feelings and sends a chill through my spine. Her face is so close to theirs! It’s like she’s a ghostly apparition that only I can see. Like she’s Beetlejuice or something. Somebody said “Kale juice” three times and now we’re stuck with this situation.
It makes sense, then, that when she wasn’t inspecting Shinzo Abe’s pores, Ivanka occupied herself by showing up in the background of photos of her father like one of those ghosts in The Haunting of Hill House. And just like in The Haunting of Hill House it’s unclear if she’s just a regular vengeful ghost or a psychological manifestation of a deeply embedded family curse. It’s a real toss-up. But whatever it is, it looks like she’s having the time of her life, scream-laughing and standing too close to Angela Merkel. Lol I’m dying!